Are we all talking the same language here?
Yes and no. Yes, in that each term conjures up an image of togetherness and cooperation--having a sense of belonging and mutual support and looking after each other. No, in that rarely do the same images and cultural assumptions come to mind when people start talking about what "community" looks like in its physical form.
In general, a common set of attitudes and skills is needed to create and maintain a community in any of these forms, and the issues and challenges that arise are also similar. It's especially interesting to look at what folks are doing these days in "intentional communities,"* because that's where folks are consciously trying to design and live(!) in nurturing, human-scale, sustainable settlements--and must face all these issues head on.
Several decades ago, when I started seriously networking among intentional communities, I thought I pretty much knew which structures and systems worked the best, and which ones were ineffective and/or oppressive. Having visited over 330 communities, I've had to change my opinion. I've found workable examples of almost every imaginable kind of government, decision-making process, and economic system--what seems to really matter is whether or not the members believe in the system they're using.
I did learn that, regardless of the vision or the leadership or the lifestyle chosen, every attempt to live intentionally in community has its challenges and frustrations. Living in community is hard work. Period. And worth it!
Why? Because it makes us squarely face our growing edges--those areas in which we need to transform ourselves in order to become more fully ourselves: creative, curious, inspired, loving, friendly, thoughtful, helpful, humble, ecological, social, playful, spiritual...the list is nearly infinite. Mostly this is a matter of unlearning our conditioning and tapping into our potential.
If you hear someone talking about a community in only glowing terms, put on your detective hat--you're obviously not being given the whole picture. It's not that the shadow side should overwhelm the positive aspects, but it does need to be acknowledged and worked with rather than denied and hidden. Unfortunately, we're more likely to judge and alienate those we perceive as acting out the shadow roles--rather than finding ways to celebrate them as our teachers so that we might peacefully and joyfully coexist.
It's a sad truth that, at least in this century, most of our conditioned attitudes and aspirations have emphasized competition and rugged individualism at the expense of cooperation and community. Most of us have fantasies of living harmoniously with loved ones and peers and neighbors, but we don't have many of the skills required to pull it off. In that context, living consciously in a community environment is like being in a social pressure cooker where you can earn your Ph.D. in personal growth and cooperation--a double major! And the homework at times seems overwhelming.
If and when you're ready to join or start a community, there are plenty of resources available to help you along the path [see footnote to get started]. The current Communities Directory lists 440 diverse communities in North America--and that's just the tip of the iceberg. There are also many networks and publications available, so that we may all benefit from the collective experience and find referrals to others aligned with our values and visions.
But your major first step is a huge one: to figure out exactly what you value and what you want, and to understand clearly both where your vision is flexible and where no compromise is possible. And guess what? For most people, those understandings change over time--so try to err in the direction of being flexible.
Happy hunting!
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*According to Communities magazine, "An intentional community is a group of people who have chosen to live or work together in pursuit of a common ideal or vision. Most, though not all, share land or housing. Intentional communities come in all shapes and sizes, and display an amazing diversity in their common values, which may be social, economic, spiritual, political, and/or ecological. Some are rural; some urban. Some live all in a single residence; some in separate households. Some raise children; some don't. Some are secular, some are spiritually based, and others are both. For all their variety though, the communities featured in our magazine hold a common commitment to living cooperatively, to solving problems nonviolently, and to sharing their experience with others."
Communities magazine (quarterly, $18/yr.); Communities Directory (440 pages, $28 postpaid). 138 Twin Oaks Rd., Louisa, VA 23093; [email protected]; www.ic.org; (660) 883-5545.
Geoph Kozeny has lived in various kinds of communities for 26 years, and has been on the road for 11 years visiting communities--asking about their visions and realities, taking photos, and giving slide shows about the diversity and vitality of the communities movement. He helped create the Communities Directory, and is a regular columnist for Communities magazine. Presently, he is producing a full-length video documentary on intentional communities.
©1999 Talking Leaves
Spring/Summer 1999
Volume 9, Number 1
Cultivating Community