a letter to the Lost Valley community, October 12, 2004
To all of you, who have sent so much love and held me from so far away, thank you. I want to respond to each of you individually and do not have the energy right now. I know you understand. It has been incredible to receive so much support from you. Wow. I am so blessed.
The funeral was beautiful. One of the first things the preacher said was that he was reminded of the words of Jesus when he read the mission statement of the Lost Valley Educational Center and intentional community where Justin spent time this summer. Then he actually read the mission statement and I felt so loved and recognized.
Our friend Kelly, who also came to Lost Valley earlier this summer, sang Wen-day-ya-ho, a Native American song about transformation. It was beautiful. And I had the opportunity to speak. I invited everyone to touch each other and expressed Justin's sadness for the lack of touch in our culture. And I talked about the amazing way Justin had of calling me present. And reminding me to breathe. I took lots of deep breaths as I spoke. I shared how sometimes when walking in the woods my mind would start rattling and my mouth would start chattering and Justin would just stop and breathe--or say, Look! and show me something so perfect that I was suddenly not just in the presence of God, but aware of it. He taught me to pay attention.
And I talked about Justin's connection to the Great Spirit/Oneness that he believed holds us all together and is in all of us. I told them about how he would smoke American Spirit Pow Wow blend from his corn cob pipe and ask for guidance when he needed it. And he would sit and wait for an answer. Sometimes Spirit spoke through what he saw or heard. Sometimes it was a feeling or sensation. Many times he received answers from animals or plants which had different meanings each time he'd see them. And when he'd receive an answer he would actually receive it--and integrate it into his life.
I talked about the way Justin listened. And did not react or respond, but reflected, and looked lovingly into my eyes and soul. And I encouraged people to practice listening to each other in this way. And I talked about community and how important community was to him. I thanked them for being his community and I shared that he had dreamed of using the church next to the tent we were standing under (because he wished to be remembered outside) as a community center one day when he started his own intentional community.
I talked about how well he knew the land. And every plant and animal who lived there. Every tree and creek. And how hard he worked to document the changes he expected when Ozarka moved upstream--they have a reputation for drying up creeks which in turn kills plants and changes the ecosystem. And I told them how hard he worked to get his family to protect the land in their stewardship and how he has folders full of the work he did to interest The Nature Conservancy in purchasing and protecting the 1000 acres next door. By the way, The Nature Conservancy is excited about the land...they discovered many rare and uncommon species when they walked with him and they are just waiting to have enough money.
I talked about Justin's vision for living sustainably and cooperatively. And how he considered the impact of his choices on the Earth and our children. And I also talked about how much sadness, anger, and fear he carried for most of his life. And how he felt limited by that. And the cool part is he was moving more and more into his vision every day and he was falling from fear into trust.
I felt excited about representing him and our new culture. I was supported by several friends who know how to be present and aren't afraid to connect. We sang our songs--I release, and I let go, I let the Spirit take my life--'cause I'm only here for Love: No more struggle, no more strife, I let the Spirit take my life, 'cause I'm only here for Love...and Earth, my body, Water, my blood, Air, my breath, and Fire, my Spirit--the Earth the Air the Fire the Water Return, Return, Return, Return....It was beautiful. We moved a lot of energy, connected deeply, and honored Justin Davis.
He was buried with the stones he took everywhere, that lived on the window sill in the barn this summer, a hawk feather he'd been cleansed with many times, American Spirit tobacco sprinkled on his body, an essence from an oak ring of 13 trees--created for safe passage to other realms, flowers from the land, and Rapunzel bittersweet chocolate.
Oh--and our friend Jesse delivered some spoken word from deep down. Hopefully I'll receive a copy to send to you soon. Wo. And Kelly sang the Appalachian Funeral Song, "Take me back, oh hills I love..."
I am so grateful that you got to meet him, know him, witness him, love him. I am so grateful you got to witness us. We did it. We fully expressed ourselves to each other and came back to center over and over again through some incredibly painful times. We loved each other. And we loved you all. We love you all. You helped transform our lives and connect us to Spirit in a way that helps me to cope with the depth of emotions I am moving through. Thank you.
Deep Breath--
Karly
Karly Dillard is grateful to the practice of Heart of Now. She can be reached at [email protected].
©2004 Talking Leaves
Winter 2004/2005
Volume 14, Number 4
Transformation: Endings and Beginnings